Friday, April 01, 2005

Breaking News: Pundits sweating

The scenes of intense saddness on the faces of TV pundits all over the world comes as no surprise. The fact that the Pontif is still alive has utterly devasted them. Yet not all is in darkness. For there are many pundits who revel in the telling and retelling, and re-re-retelling, of the Holy Father's condition. Producers all over the world are deep in meditation over their productions of "John Paul: A life Remembered", "Way To Go Karl", and Micheal Moore's "The Pope That didn't care for Bush".

So all media men and women silently, and loudly, wait out the last few seconds, minutes, and potentially days or years of this Popes life.

The Vatican has banned TV pundits from the square at Saint Peters. "They make a hell of a mess." Said Msngr. Visconti, in charge of cleaning up after Papal Funerals. "Usually we simply let the Swiss Gaurd get some Pike practice pitching the SOB's over the wall. But tonight, seeing them all weepy at getting to cover this event, we decided to simply kick them in the teeth."

And so, with his front teef mithing, your faiful corithpondet signs off.

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