Thursday, April 28, 2005

Because TG was a patrol ship

25th anniversary of the Price of Friendship is coming up!
I mentioned the plot in an earlier post. Hatch Laringa and John Reign are minding their own business doing "busy work" on their beat up piece of crap spaceship, the Renegade. Yuzzem, an old friend, a green skinned, bald headed terrorit, spaceship designer, a veritable renaisance alien, sells the duo on remodeling their spaceship. In return they agree to tow a gigantic refinery (Alien rip-off) to the TG-2000 space station, an even more bigger-er gigantic-er space station.
This film was made in the aftermath of Alien and Empire Strikes Back, ergo the refinery and the astroid belt.

After a percieved passing of time the duo comeback to their ship as little clay people waddling across a set to a balsa wood ship. Then they are human again and in a two room set of the interior of the ship. They thank Yuzzem, "Yuzzem you've done a magnificent job." says John. "Thank you." says Yuzzem.

From there things go down hill. They hook up with the Adon; pronounced add-on. Yuzzem, who has come along, trys to alay fears. Somehow by doing this he sows suspision with Hatch and John. Then they decide to call Cimtar, sort of a claymation Yoda on a disco light box. The little clay dude is about to tell them what Yuzzem is really going to do when he vanishes in a flickering, filmscratchy poof!

Yuzzem, about 2.5 feet away in the next room, has sabotaged the Cimtar machine, or whatever it's called. Hatch and John become really very concerned about this. They are so concerned that right when they are about to ask him about the problem with the Cimtar machine he informs them that they are entering an asteroid belt.

"What!? What are the coordinates?" Asks a bewildered Hatch.
"Uh 1.8 S" responds the suddenly sissyfied court dandy that is Yuzzem.

The astroid collision scene (ESB rip-off) was filmed upside down so the strings are coming off the bottom of the astroids; and your not looking for strings there are you! One of the pumice balls hits a legs-egg dome on the Adon and there is a flash-cube explosion. Oddly enough the first film in this miserable series had the Renegade hit an even bigger asteroid.

Anyhow Yuzzem has stowed his secret weapon onboard the ship to be released at the perfect time. This is the villain Pausba. Pausba and Yuzzem totally fail to coordinate the takeover of the ship and Yuzzem in typical FUBAR fashion accidently shoots Pausba. The film does not say what kind of weapon it was but Pausba speews blood all over the wall as he dies a bloody death. The duo come to the comotion. They somehow have guns, flare guns, and start shooting at Yuzzem. Finally, after ten minutes of film, there is some action. Yuzzem shoots his way off camera and into an escape capsule.

The last bit of film is the duo trying to reason with the now totally eviiiil Yuzzem, who's head piece is just about spent so he has to have his neck wrapped like a guy trying to sue somebody for wiplash. He escapes just as the Renegade and its cargo are headed for TG-2000.

Hatch determines that they will have to "rip-her off" of the Adon and that is what they do. The too escape, letting the Adon slam into the space station killing everyone on the huge thing. They soon fix the Cimtarator and talk to their old clay faced pal. He informs them that Yuzzem was captured "now he's in prison, because TG was a patrol ship" This sounds kinda like "how are we going to have a PC ending where the bad guy is caught?" The conclusion to this film is a bunch if type written end credits that scroll to the end of Pictures at an Exhibition.

So I am trying to track this film down. I have no clue where it is..............

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