"What in the?"
The dog turd hit the ground and rolled to one side. "Now what?" It thought.
An hour passed and the turd took note of its surroundings. Grass, blue sky, trees blowing in a gentle breeze. "This is the life!" thought the turd. "Just kick'n it on the lawn."
After a day in the sun the turd began to lose it's luster. "Damn. I'm gettn dried out. Hey! Whats a turnd gotta do to get a drink around here?" There was no answer.
Then a huge bi-ped walked over and took a shovel and scooped the turd up. The bi-ped dumped it into a sack and tossed it into the garbage can.