Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Correction

In my refutation of the concept of Offa Rex being a muslim I incorrectly stated the coin said "there is but one God and Alla is his prophet" Of course the actual inscription is" There is one God Alla and Mohammed is His prophet" This is due to me writing at 1:30 in the morning.

Offa Rex was not a muslim!!!!!!!

Every once in a blue moon I Google Offa Rex. My favorite 8th Century King.

And the vast majority of pages are regarding the totally stupid concept that Offa became a muslim. I know I have sent email responses out before regarding this hog wash but I get urked everytime I read something that is so totally bogus and crap filled.

So here is my yearly refutation of this nonsense.

Pro: The coins of King Offa are high quality and have very nice arabic script on them saying that there is but one God and Alla is his prophet.

Refutation: Nobody in 8th Century Anglo-Saxon England knew what the hell Arabic script was. If Offa was going to pofess his faith in Islam why use arabic? Only spain and the eastern Mediterranian would know what it meant.

Pro: Offa being Christian is a big conspiracy

Refutation: I agree. The facts have conspired to refute the claim. Offa Rex was so jealous of power in ecclesiastical affairs in England that he had his own bishop elevated by the Pope to the level of Archbishp. And durring the latter days of his 40 year reign there were 3 archbishoprics in England.

After his death in AD 796 the see of Lichfield reverted back to a bishopric.
Offa also endowed numerous abbys and monasteries. He and his wife presided over several ecclesiastical synods. He was on very good terms with the Pope and received legates from Rome in AD 787.

Pro: Then why the arabic script?

Refutation: Because the finest mints in the world were run by Arabs in Spain and the near east. Arabian coins found there way all over Europe. Nobody much cared what was on them. Money was money. Minting coinage took time, skill, and had to be tightly controled. Kings owned mints not kingdoms.

Even Henry II in the 12th century carried the royal mint with him wherever he went. These coins came into Offa's England and he had the center restruck with "Offa Rex" in the center. That was enough verbage and people knew what that meant. Again why would the center of the coin by struck in Latin and the edges be in Arabic?

Finally there are 8th century Arabian coins that match Offa's penny exactly accept for the name of a Caliphate in the center. This name was flattened out and rehammered with Offa Rex.

Offa Rex Totius Anglorum Patrio (Offa King of all the English Fatherland) was a ruthless, pragmatic, and highly successful petty king. Islam was detested in Christendom and Offa would not have risen to his hight had he professed to be an Infidel.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

Another incident...

I think I have spoke before of my belief that the Universe is not a random thing. Over the years things have occurred who's odds are so huge that they should not happen. Today another event occurred and I have my Mom to back me up.

We had gone to lunch today and during the lunch I noticed my Mom's glasses on the table. Later that day we went to Fred Meyers and after shopping, as I was exiting the store, it occurred to me to ask my Mom if she had remembered to pick up her glasses off the resturant table.

As we walked to her car we stopped and she looked through her coat pockets. Then I glanced down and fifteen feet away were a pair of reading glasses on the side walk. I went over an picked them up. They were very pair of glasses she was looking for.

If I had not thought to ask her about the whereabouts of her glasses we would not have stopped to look for them in her coat and I would not have had time to look in the direction of where the glasses actually were.

Clearly the script writers are pretty good, but from time to time the reality of our situation comes through.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Inaguration speeches

I read five speeches to compare and contrast. The first was Lincoln's 1st inagural address. The second was his second. The third and fourth were Clinton's and the last was Bush's 1st inagural.

Niether Clinton nor Bush hold a candle to the logical consistancy, wordsmithing, and shear dramaticism of Lincoln. They are both posers.

Inerestingly GW's first speech comes across as far more critical of Americas lack of progress on civil rights and economic fairness than does Clintons. Both Clinton's speeches were really upbeat.

What strikes me is that both Lincoln and Clinton, use continuously positively reinforced imagery in their phrases. Bush, though using triumphant phraseology tends to end each segment of his speech with a dark ambiguity that borders on the bizzare. Particularly his closing where he says:

"Never tiring, never yielding, never finishing, we renew that purpose today, to make our country more just and generous, to affirm the dignity of our lives and every life.

This work continues. This story goes on. And an angel still rides in the whirlwind and directs this storm.

God bless you all, and God bless America."

I highlighted in red the bizzare parts. I have never really thought of America as a storm or a whirlwind. Though we are acting like it in Iraq.

Compare that to the closing of Clinton’s 1st:

“And so, my fellow Americans, at the edge of the 21st century, let us begin with energy and hope, with faith and discipline, and let us work until our work is done. The scripture says, "And let us not be weary in well-doing, for in due season, we shall reap, if we faint not.

From this joyful mountaintop of celebration, we hear a call to service in the valley. We have heard the trumpets. We have changed the guard. And now, each in our way, and with God's help, we must answer the call.

Thank you and God bless you all.”

And Lincoln’s

“In your hands, my dissatisfied fellow-countrymen, and not in mine, is the momentous issue of civil war. The Government will not assail you. You can have no conflict without being yourselves the aggressors. You have no oath registered in heaven to destroy the Government, while I shall have the most solemn one to "preserve, protect, and defend it."

I am loath to close. We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

Of course Lincoln new what was about to happen. His was a far weightier speech. It had to be. It was a last plea to preserve the Union. But even there, in the last scentance, of the last desparete cry to avoid war, he uses this awsome imagery of the:

“The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature.”

I am curious to hear GW’s next address. Lincoln’s first was four times as long as his second. And another thing that is really striking is that in the span between those speeches Lincoln was able to fight to near victory and nation destroying civil war. What has GW been able to do in 4 years?

Lastly Lincoln did not ask God to bless the US at the end of either of his speeches. Though both his speeches are filled with biblical phrasing and gospel imagery, way more than Clinton’s or Bush’s. Actually Bush’s speech is the least biblical in tone.

Politically Incorrect Santa 2004

Ha Ha Ha, or Ho Ho Ho..something like that.

Well it is X-mass time again. So who's been naughty and who's been nice?
Well lets look into my bag and see what we have for all the little brats, er, kids this year...

I normally do not want my list to get published, too much chance of getting sued. But seeing as it is the holidays I will relent.

Johnny K. - Well he was a pretty good boy this year. He could have been a cranky boy and maybe even got his parents to get him that Presidential Action Playset. But instead he decided to put the family first. Okay I will give him lots of money, a really cool wife, great kids, and I won't stick him with that poor quality Iraqi Freedom playset. Lots of boys want that playset but the soldiers arms and legs break off all the time.

Georgy B - Well Georgy has been a bad boy since he got everything he wanted this year but was really ungrateful. So he gets the Iraqi Freedom Playset.
He can play with it with that loser neighbor boy Donny Rumsfeld.
This year there are thousands of little boys wanting Lee Press-on limbs and I have had the elves stock up on that item. Along with the GI Joe tripple amputee inaction figure with wheel-chair grip.

For the youth of Portland I have a special item. She's protestor Barbie complete with ti-dye t-shirt, peace sign, and is able to cry real tears when you sprey her with pepper mace. Her arms turn black and blue when Ken the Overeaction Policeman beats her with a club. If your lucky I'll give you Ken the Overeaction policeman. He comes in full riot gear and APC with water canon and enough pepper mace to bring down an adult grizzly.

For those lucky sadists I have the GI Joe Abu Grhaib torture center. It comes with anatomically correct prisoners to abuse. 9volt batteries not included.

For kids who like dolls that do nothing we have either the Senator doll or the Representative Doll. Both are in the Congressional Apathy playset.

Actually this isn't much of a playset since these types of things require imagination and anyone who would want one of these lacks that component.

Lastly we have the Christian hypocrite doll with bible-thumping action.
This doll is built so that at night its face falls off revealing the dark powers of satan.

What will be in your stocking? Well I can't say. Coal is looking pretty good to me. Hell with the price of gas, a lump of coal could get me through the winter without having to rely on the government. Oh yeah they cut that program too.. Fuckers

Santa

Monday, December 20, 2004

Star Wars Battlefronts

A galactic version of capture the flag.

Still this is a kick ass cool game that is totally fun to play. In the beginning I didn't realize you could change your spawn points based on what command post you controled. So I kept respawning at this one post that Vader was trying to capture and he killed me four times in a row. I felt honored. I was also kind of pissed off so the the next time I respawned as one of those bugheaded rebels with a rocket launcher and hunted down the dark lord of the syth and gave him what for. However it was still unerving when he finally figured out who was shooting him. I was running around with the breathing right behind me. Then some really nice guy tossed a grenade at ol Darth and blowed him up.

The only thing I find hard to swollow is a Star Destroyer inside the atmosphere. Can you jump in it and fly it around like you can an speederbike?

Sims 2: The Empire Strikes Back

I had a brain storm of an Idea. Use the Sims2 engine and combine it with Star Wars battlefronts. This would be the ultimate of ultimates. It would be the closest thing to playing with Star Wars figures, actually it would be even better. You could have the battlefronts mode where you are in the midst of total war and then when the battle is over you go back to the rebel stronghold and hang out with your friends and family doing rebel stuff, or go back to the deathstar and do Stormstropper stuff. You have a war and peace game.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Help!

I am going insane!

It is the company party for clients and the studio has been tricked out in a Christmas theme.
The drinks are flowing, the finger food is being fingered. People are offering polite laughter to stupid stories.

AND THE CD PLAYER IS ONLY PLAYING ONE SONG OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN. "HAVE YOURSELF A MERRY LITTLE CHRISTMAS!"
I FEEL LIKE BILL MURRY IN A DRASTICALLY TRUNCATED GROUNDHOG DAY.

Help! Anyone! Help!!!!!!!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Dream a little dream

I know that dreams are your frontal lobes trying to make sense of the limbicsystem organising memory at night. However I draw the line at some of thestuff my brain comes up with. And just where does it go to grab therequired props for the dream?

Example: I dream that I live in a border town in Kentucky in 1862 and it isat night. The town is attacked by home-gard from the south. They are burning the town and shooting people. I am running to a barn to let thesmall union garrison know about what is going on. A rebel comes at me and Iknock him off his horse by swinging a 2x4 at him.

When I enter the barn I find the garrison in dress blues singing while theyawait their picture to be taken. They are in their off time a choir.

Another dream has me wandering along the Oregon trail with other pioneers.I am profoundly worried that we may be coming to the Oregon country too lateand will come into a war zone. The term "54-40 or fight" is being repeatedby many of the pioneers. There is another bunch who is traveling with us. They are trappers and speak only in trade jargon.

This puts me on the trail prior to 1846 since the border dispute that nearlybrought England and the US to war in Oregon was taking place in the 1840's.The 54-40 or fight was actually a campaign slogan and was ment to instill inthe US a desire to go to war with England over Oregon.

I know my brain is full of shit like this and so when it is asleep andtrying to process memory it grabs all sorts of historical crapola to makesense of what my emotional centers are up to. I can't really complain toomuch. When I have these types of dreams they are totally real to me. Theyhave so much stuff and people in them and historically accurate, as far asmy brain in concerned. I am shocked to wake up.