Sunday, February 13, 2005

Alien vs Predator

I am sick of the pyramid getting such a downer of a bad rap in all these movies. And what is it about pyramids anyway? Oh yes I forgot, no human being would ever build something like that. Before I go into this movie proper, I need to say that I rented two movies tonigtht. AVP and The Village. I was glad that Sigorney Weaver was not in AVP. I then go and watch the Village and low-and-be-hold find out I rented Sigorney anyway.

AVP is better than Alien 3, the worst of the films. Not as good as Alien 2, about a tie with Alien 4, and not even in the same genre as Alien. A movies enjoyment factor hinges on what you expect and I expected a big stinking turd on a DVD. I found it very entertaining, as scary as Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and almost 100% predictable. I actually think this movie is more intellectually honest than 3 and 4. There was no faked pretense about the bad guys. All the potential creepiness of walking around a frozen pyramid, 2000 feet under Antarctica, and swarming with two speices of killing machines, was rushed and blanded out with nonsense characters, and less than scare jack-in-the-box shots. The worst thing about the film was the 100% lack of character development. That is why, 3 hours after viewing the show, I cannot recall one name of any of the characters. Only Bishop.

The story was the worst type of hollywoodized clapt trap. The Predators come down and make like gods to the poor human shleps all so the humans can be used as incubators for the Aliens. This seems kinda out of character for the Predators. They live to hunt, their the NRA gone galactic. Why the hell would they waste time on all the duplicity and bureaucracy of native religions all of the Earth? It seems to me that they would be more likely to kill all the humans in a day or so, make a picknick out of it, then dump a can of aliens onto the earth and let them infest all the other animals. This plot was too much like the WWF. I was waiting for somebody to yell "hit him with the chair!"

Anyway I liked the movie and it had me chuckling and warmly smiling while useless non-characters got non-scarily, non-disgustingly wacked. And this movie wasn't even rated R. I bequeath unto AVP the ranking of 5.

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