FEAR

Bush team uses old "cut their pay to gain their vote" strategy.

In keeping with Bush Administration guidelines on stupid people acting stupidly. Their new overtime policy comes into play at exactly the wrong time effecting the wrong people. Like their previous drug discount system, it's 364 pages of legalize is both confusing and fear inducing.

confidential Whitehouse source - "Our efforts to scare the b'jeezus out of the old folks worked so well that we are confident of further fear induction to those workers currently most likely to vote republican."

When asked if they worry about upwardly mobile people now facing pay reductions directly caused by the Bush Administration. Our sources say, "Currently the Presidents advisor on Federal Emergency Action Response "FEAR" is very busy thinking up new ways for the Administration to terrorize, scare, and generally annoy the American electorate. Our confidence in FEAR has never been higher."

The President was asked if he felt he had a mandate to do these kind of things. He responded by saying "Mandate? That sounds like someth'n a New Jersey governor would do. I have been happily married to my wife who has been, and continues to be the same woman. Not that homer sexuals will rot in hell though they probably will."

The Bush 04 team has more "ideas" in the pipeline before November.

1. Put on scary masks to scare children as they go back to school.
2. Admit that they don't have a clue about what will happen in Iraq.
3. Invade Iran with boyscout troops.
4. Repeal assault weapons ban so Presidential assassins get only the best weapons.
5. "Reform" the Social Security Administration by bombing it with JDAMs.
6. "Reform" the Constitution by using really big eraser.
7. Thank Vetrans by proclaiming September 1st Patton Day and then slapping all returning vets in the face.
8. Build gigantic wedgeshaped battle cruisers to "explore" Mars and make the solar system safe for democracy.
9. Open gates of Hell so all Imps and Deamons can have a "fair" chance at communicating their point of view.
10. Give God ultimatum on the whole "Rapture" business. Expert from Bush speech - "He must comply with our request for Rapture or we will enRapture Him."

In our next segment: Cheny! Zombi from beyond the grave? Or fat rich bastard that is totally clueless as to his utter unlikeability?

40

I am hovering near 40. The emotional portion of my brain wants my higher brain to be concerned about this. The higher brain is currently looking at the matter with bemusement and mild indifference. The totallity of me is in the middle. I still cling like most people to the illusion that I have at least half my life left. This is an illusion since there are now, and always have been, thousands of chances to get killed off. The longer you live on earth the greater the risk of you doing something stupid, running into someone stupid, or coming down with something stupid, and dying from it.

I go with Donna to estate sales. It is like you are part of the decay of the person that is dead, or in a nursing home. You are the scavenger picking through this persons life. The ski boots that were in style in 1972, the Johnny Cash albums whose jackets are weather beaten but whose disks are pristine, the furniture, jewelry, clothing, ect. The most poignent and saddest things are boxes of old photos. They are sold by the box. The photo's that seem to be worth selling are black and white. I have a BW photo of a man, probably from the 40's, that has been colorized. He is smiling and looking at the top of his game. He looks, in the photo, to be about my age now.

At some point all the stuff we have will go this way. Some will be passed down. Maybe. But most, after a generation, will lose meaning and my picture will be in a box for sale at some estate sale. The stuff we have now becomes an after image of us; the last things above ground that say we were here. One by one the artifacts lose context. When that context is gone the item is just another disconnected curiosity.

I have listened to people talk about midlife crisis. And told myself and others that this is not goning to be me. But I think there is some internal, animal response in all of us. It is the response that wills us into a vainglorious attempt to leave a mark, something solid, something that will last. It is a vainglory since we seek the impossible. We look out on the pyramids and think "well at least that guy left a mark...whoever he was" Even the pyramids were built at the command of shadows almost totally forgotten. In time the buildings themselves will disapear. My kids and any they have will be the things that say I was here. Everything else will go. In a thousand years there will be some dude writing stuff like this; he will not know me, or even have my name, but his existance will not have been possible without me.

So what is the point of all that? I have no idea. Just some thoughts.

Tales from Wyeast

I have a story to tell you. It relates to the old building I used to work in. You may be aware of a portion of this story.

I work nights for Ivey Imaging. About six months ago Ivey bought Wyeast color. In the dead of winter we moved out of our old building to the Studio facility in Milwaukie. The old building sat on the hillside below Pill Hill. Once a month I would be given a roster with film and chemistry inventory listed. This was my cue that inventory would have to be taken.

Wyeast, in its heyday, used a prodigious amount of film, paper, and chemistry. It was the largest photolab in the pacific northwest. With the advent of digital technology, less and less film was used. The 3rd floor, the floor where all the processing went on, was shut down in 1999. Wyest numbered its floors in reverse; first floor was sales and admin, second was production, and the basement was floor 3.

Before Wyeast had taken posession of the building it was the property of the Red Cross. Floor 3 contained massive freezer rooms where all of Oregon's blood supply was kept. The freezers were perfect for storing film. The freezers were climate controled behind thick airlock doors.

Taking inventory always gave me the creeps. You go down in the elevator and when the doors opened you were greeted with total darkness. You had to walk down a short corridor and turn the lights on. Even then only a few were swtiched on.

The place was a maze or huge processing machines, drying racks, and chemical containers. It smelled of fix and developer. Businesses are here to make money and when a portion of business is shut down it usually just sits there. The 3rd floor was no different. I always felt a bit like the Omega Man wandering around down there. Desks still had paper work on them, albeit from 1999.

The freezers were dark and humming away. Once you were inside you turned on the lights and it looked bright and happy. Though the creepiness factor was always there since one wall was lined with glass doors, much like a supermarkets freezer isle. Beyond them was more dark building.

Inventory usually took several hours. Before 1999 it could take days. I would sit on a rolling chair and take the tally.

The building around me would make all the noises old building make. But every once in a while you could here doors open, or even feet. I would tell myself that it was all going on on the 2nd floor. Once I even heard a sink turn on and off. Then there was the time a bank of lights all sparked at once and then shut off. Even on the 2nd floor I would turn on all the light, and crank the radio, to cover the bumps in the night.

I would not even bother to relate this stuff to you, but I came across an article in the Oregonian today that made things more clear and disturbing. You see the building inquestion was built in 1961 on property purchased from the City by the Red Cross. This city property contained cemetery #4. One of the oldest graveyards in the city. The story in the paper says that a title search done by the owners and neighborhood association, has determined that the city made no attempt at removal of the bodies. A specialist in pioneer cemeteries was called in and, using his euipment, found coffins 5 feet beneath the surface. Currently there are 120 coffins under and around the current structure. The only things the city moved were the headstones.

Epilogue: I guess this is not new to the City. According to Mr. Doering, the specialist. There are bodys under all sorts of developments. There are coffins under the sidewalk at SE 32nd and Main. Coffin removal was not really enforced by the City until the mid sixties.

Party Politically Broadcast

What follows is a party politically broadcast on behalf of the "really pissed off Americans that are sick of the giant trud Bush" party. Look here. I don't like the sounds of all these bonsentration bamps. I am not sure what sign I may have to so on my coat. Help me out on this. The nazis had the jews use the star of David. I think we should be forced to wear those big foam stadium fan-hands. But instead of the foam hand in a prepetual index-finer extention I think the middle finger should be extended. Sing this to America the Beautiful Oh mornful rightwing radio lies Spreading waves of searing pain For purple bruises and broken bones Our nations rep is slain! Amerika Amerika Bush has greatly shit on thee And on they hood his boot has stood and crushed our liberty!

Reasons to vote for Kerry:

• All the people who really know John Kerry are voting for John Kerry.
• All the people who really know George Bush are vorting for John Kerry.
• John Kerry's old staff stand by him and defend him.
• Bush's old staff write tell-all books about him denegrating him.
• Kerry was a rich kid who could have been a playboy and decided to volenteer for service.
• Bush was a rich kid who dodged his service, made excuses as to why he couldn't show up, and lived off his dad's money.
• Terrisa H Kerry spent her youth protesting apartide in South Africa.
• Laura Bush ran a stop light and killed her ex-boyfreind (who was riding in another car?!?!?)
• Kerry willingly put his life on the line for people he did not know.
• Bush willing put the lives of people he did not know on the line.
• Bush talks about being a Christian but does not practice his beliefs.
• Kerry does not talk about being a Christian but does practice his beliefs.
• Bush has no freinds oversees, no close contacts, no buddys.
• Kerry has numerous connections to people in power in other nations.

Aaaaaaaaaaargh!

My brain is now in the process of unscrewing the top of my head in hopes of flying to another planet not ruled by morons.

1) Bush is retarded. I can now honestly say that I do not wish retarded people to be the President. Not that retarded people have no place in society. I am destined to have retarded people as a President. My class of 1983 was governed by a retarded person (I am not kidding) However he did not have access to thermonuclear weapons.

Mr. Bush! Yes you. Call Rider and get the moving vans reserved. You and your bunch of empty headed, arch criminals need to get the fuck out of dodge. Sorry you will have to read this because I do not have time to draw you and your gang of mouth breathing, Vogons a picture book to follow. Just try not to accidently kill 40,000 people when you pack. You dumbass. However you nutballs have managed to make Reagan look smart. And you have been able to elevate that French sllimeball Chirac to the status of world leader. You guys really.........suck!

2) Kerry is not retarded but is promising a healthcare system that only retarded people would wish on themselves, or Hitler, or maybe even Bush.
Mr. Kerry! Yes you! YOU CANNOT HAVE A NATIONAL HEALTHCARE SYSTEM THAT CONTINUES TO UTILIZE INSURANCE COMPANIES!!!!!!!!!!! Stop smoking crack! The only system that will work is a NATIONALIZED SYSTEM!!!!!!! You pay taxes and it goes to pay doctors. Government commands doctors and hospitals to charge "X" for a procedure, pegged to inflation. Why "reform" healthcare so I can send tax money to Blue Cross and it's 100million dollar a year CEO? Get a grip you putz. And get us the hell out of Iraq!

3) Ralph Nadar is infact the largest egomaniac in this race. His total lack of belief in the American people is made manifest in his utter disregard for anyone in America other than himself.

Hey Ralph! If you want people who believe in progressive programs such as the ones you helped implement to actually start running things; stop running for President moron! Duh! If you were honsetly trying to change things you would stop masturbating for the Presidency and work to get your people into School boards, county treasurer positions, city council seats, and state legislatures. Then eventually, with an actual political structure based on people who actually are known to the electorate, you might seek out Senate seats or House seats, and maybe even a governors seat. This takes time and you will be either dead or too damn old to run. To a true progressive this would be okay. To you however this won't do because you see yourself as a Presdient. Get laid and chill out!

4) Osama Bin Laden is the only guy who shows any patience, planning, or an ability to get to know his enemy. And this is the rub of the matter. He spends 100,000 bucks and inflict a half billion dollars worth of damage and only 13 of his followers have to die. Bush spends 165 billion to hurt Bin Laden and his freinds and ends up killing 900+ GI's wounding some 8000 more. Who is winning the war? It's the same as that skinny wrinkled geazer HoChi Minn and his pajama wearing VC.

All I want is some normal person who has his/her head on his/her shoulders and not up some corporations bung cave; or up their own.

Cat story

I take the garbage down the driveway to the curb at 2am. The moon, 3/4 full, baths the fields and casts stark shadows. The leaves of the apple trees reflect moonshine from them in a slight breeze. It is utterly silent, bugs are asleep, frogs are fucked out and asleep in the ooze. If I make enough noise various dogs and coyote's will bark and or howl at me. Tonight I do not make enough noise, or maybe the dogs are too damn tired after a long hard day of sleeping, digging up old toys, and deciding where to take a dump.

The can I take down contains a very nasty brew. We missed last weeks pick up, or they missed us. Either way the contents of this container have stewed under multiple 100 degree days. It contains two rats, ten or more field mice. lilly white maggots coat the inside of the lid of the container. They are drinking on the condensation caused by all the fermenting yuck. I have, because I am not a cave man, stealthily used a bunggy cord to keep the lid on. I do this so that I do not have to smell it and so that all the large animals big enough to take down a garbage can, don't have an evening feast on said yuck.

The latter has happened in the past I cannot convey to you my attitude slide, upon seeing all that decomposing, slime covered, maggot infested, crap spread all over the street. I most closely resemble Samuel L Jackson cleaning up the car in Pulp Fiction. I'm the Guns of the Navarone.
Anyway tonight I set the can at ease and turn to go up the driveway when I see her. Shelia the expatriate cat. Sitting sprawled out on the driveway meeting with Blanche another of our cats. Blanche looks up and wanders off as if to say "well you too have catching up to do I will leave you alone."

I have not seen Shelia in weeks. She just vanished. In our area coyote come in and snack on cats and small dogs all the time. They are just part of the food chain. So when I see her and determine that she is alive and well I am happy, call to her, and scoop her up.

Shelia always enjoyed the top honors at the house. She slept on our bed, got to be inside whenever she wanted. She had hopped into our minivan at the grade school when she was very small. She was the "Queen". Then she grew up and learned to hunt like all the others. She would go out for no more than a day at a time. Then two weeks ago she vanished. She normally would make quite a noise at our door to get in at night; now nothing. She would come if she heard food being poured into the dish: now nothing.

Now her she was. As I walk up the driveway I talk to her in the typical baby talk crap that humans use. At the top of the driveway Shelia looks deep into my eyes with her own deep yellow eyes and hisses like the Queen Alien at me. Being not too sentimental about all the cats we have, I drop her at once.

In the house I tell Donna that the Queen is home and she goes out to get the cat. In a minute or to Shelia is in the house. She paces the floor like a lioness. She spits and hisses like a totally wild animal. However she is also evidently conflicted. When Donna holds her she spits and hisses then goes to cleaning Donna's hand with her tounge. After a bit of cleaning there is another bit of hissing and the cat is up running around trying to get out.

We decide to sit down and watch TV, which is in possible at 2am since there is almost nothing on. The cat paces infront of us both hissing, groweling, showing no fear. Finally we let her out.

The queens has gone native. All those lovey dovey cats and dogs are always only a few days from being wild. Shelia can get all she needs from her surroundings. She doesn't need us. And the longer she is away the less she see herself as a kitten. I have heard that most house pets are always in either the kitten mode or the puppy mode. They never really grow up. Well this cat is grown up.

She is acting toward us now the same way Blanche, the other cat, and her duaghter Alba act toward each other. If they come close they will growl, spit, and swipe. Then go to cleaning each other abit. Then right back to hissing. They are parting too. The difference with them is that they both see us as parents. To us they both still act like kittens. Shelia is moving beyond that.

On the porch Sophia, Blanch and Alba are eating an evening meal at the food bowl. They see Shelia and make room for her. She goes to feed then growls at them. They all move away. She eats by herself. Then goes down the stairs and is gone in the night. This is very easy since she is almost totally black.

On the rail sit Cupcake, a totally inappropirately named famele cat and Whisky, an appropriately named male cat. They have been here since before we got here. They are fat on rabbits. They watch Shelia go. Then they go to. "The humans on the other side of the road have mowed their field. No place for the rodents to hide! Lets eat!"
Alba the baby and Sophia, her grandma, curl up on a mat and go to sleep. Blanche goes down to the street too "Maybe I can get the bunggy cord off.!

Alien: Quadrilogy

Well for the first time in a long while I have partaken in the complete Alien Quadrilogy. The NINE disc DVD set is mindboggling. After the whole hideous thing I have come to some conclusions about the Alien

1. What makes the original scary:
   The unkowability of the creature in all its various nasty forms, the low key performances, the non-heroic nature of most all the cast.
2. What makes the other movies not very scary:

The more the story teller trys to pigeonhole the alien into the insect catagory the less scary it is. By the end of the second film the aliens aren't very alien. By the end of the 4rth movie it was all just a graphic novel on screen. The whole bio-weapons aspect was beaten to death. The governement conspiracy was beaten to death. Ripley should have been beatn to death.

Studio concocktions suck. The three films that followed Alien were very much different in that they have the polished feel of a 'studio" picuture. They give us what they think we "want" to see or "expect" to see; hence the totally predictable plot, the same schtick. The original Alien went out of its way to give us something that we didn't expect and really didn't want to see (until we saw it and couldn't get enough of it)

I am really sick of being shoveled shit that some studio dickwad thinks I want. And this is, to me, the holy grail of movies. All the best films we love were made to surprise us and for the cheif benefit of the filmakers. All the worst films I hate are the ones who try to give me a formula that has worked in the past and is as surprising as finding out in the morning that the sun is rising in the east.

I am sure that LOTR will spawn other films that will be handsomely crafted, of great length telling us nothing we haven't seen before. I like the concept of doing a multi-movie series all at once. It forces the filmaker to take a big risk. To shoot one movie and have it bomb is bad, but to do three? I also forces some continutiy into the storyline and allows for less "hmm? How do I reconcile this problem?" from going on. I would dread another episode in LOTR. Of course it is out of my hands. Tolkien didn't wan't Retun of the King to be called that since he felt it gave away the ending. But it too was out of his hands. Those that create are at the mercy of those that distribute. I don't, as a matter of course, want to put the creators on a pedistal. Look at poor Dan O'Bannon, he scored big in 79' and that was it for him. And George Lucas owes his wad to Gary Kurtz more than to his own "genius" It is odd that the as the SW films have progress he has gotten to have more and more control!?!!?

Filmakers should stay away from "the making of"s I used to like the idea but really it cheapens the film itself and the movies become...well...movies instead of emotional experiences. I don't want to know about the building of Theodan's palace or that of Helm's deep in a rock quarry. After you read a good book you don't want to know if the author wrote it in his underwear.
The Alien DVD's have tons of extra stuff that is all cool and interesting. The volume of the extra stuff undoubtedly exeeds the lengths of all the films combined.

Sponge

What about sea-sponge? True it is not bipedal but they are unobtrusive and get along well with others. I've never heard of a sea spunge getting involved with "the wrong crowd". I also think that it is a safe bet that no sea spunge has ever been convicted of a crime.

Alpha Omega

"What in the?"

"Ah!!!!!!!!!!"

Crash!

The dog turd hit the ground and rolled to one side. "Now what?" It thought.

An hour passed and the turd took note of its surroundings. Grass, blue sky, trees blowing in a gentle breeze. "This is the life!" thought the turd. "Just kick'n it on the lawn."

After a day in the sun the turd began to lose it's luster. "Damn. I'm gettn dried out. Hey! Whats a turnd gotta do to get a drink around here?" There was no answer.

Then a huge bi-ped walked over and took a shovel and scooped the turd up. The bi-ped dumped it into a sack and tossed it into the garbage can.

The end.

Star Wars: Attack of the Clones

I have massive production artist envy. I gush at the emensity of all the cool brick-a-brack that people had to do to bring this beheamoth off. Me like the movie. Me really like the movie. Finally somebody poured a can of Wup-ass into the Jedi food bag. Acting is still pretty stilted, but far better than SWI. It is fitting that Jar Jar Binks, as I forsaw, would spell the doom of the Republic. It is ironic that the entire destruction of a civilization could be tracked to that watery fart smeller.

Best part of the movie:
Yoda kick'n sith butt. No medi-chlorian crap

Worst part of the movie:
The credits. They came too quickly

Biggest Question:
"Years ago you served my father in the Clone Wars. Now he begs you to help him in our struggle against the Empire....." Father? Well it certainly ain't the big DV. So Amidala must end up shacking up with the king of Alderan. And pretty damn soon after the intital coitus with AS that lead to the twins. Boy that is really going to piss Anakin off.

Suspension of disblief required for this movie: (1-10) 8.5
Coolness Factor: (1-10) 9.95
Character quality: (1-10) 7
Story quality: (1-10) 8.5
Want-to-see-it-again-factor (1-10) 10
Overall: 8.79 out of a possible 10

Hlaf-Life: The show so far

So the clumsy Mr. Freeman finally gets up the stinking ladder. He tosses a grenade and goes through the hole. Bang bang bang and the bad guys are dead. He sneaks up to a broken girder and puts a dart in the head of each of two thugs who want to kill him. He jumps his way across some busted shit and send another two thugs to Valhalla. Then he is at this silly landing pad thing with this Ospray that comes down and starts dropping more thugs. He caps both dudes then drops a demo pack and runs for cover. The osprey comes in again and just as the two slimes touch down they are blasted to jelly. Now Freeman finds this cannon and blows open a door.

Q: How much more of this poop is there?

The Cave

To: Osama

From: Cave Clan

Chill out and loosen the diaper on your head! Nobody took your stupid crackers. Can you say "Rat Infestation"? It's gotten so bad that Wakeem made a cell phone call to Termenix. Suffice to say the rats at that end of the tunnel are history. Of course that wasn't due to the Termenix people but to 2 15,000 pound daisy cutters!

Important notice: I know this sounds like beating a dead horse but please refrain from using the cell phone. The great Satan can pick up calls on his radio. Even calls to exterminators. Tin can and string is still okay.

Back at ya

The Clan of the Cave

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Rings

Okay boys here is the review of Lord of the Rings:

The Lord of the Rings is a technically brilliant film, eye-candy equal to all sorts of other big-ass films. Dramatically the film is good too. I like Frodo and Gandalf, and especially Bilbo. I liked the wood elf queen lady too, only because she was the scariest thing in the
film....BUT:

The human characters were nearly all stereotypical. They were unshaven, and almost all uninteresting. Unlike Star Wars Episode-I, where I wanted the non-humans to get the hell off the screen before Iblew chunks. Lord of the rings made me want to see more of the creatures and less of the angst filled Lucy decendants.

I can't wait to see the next film!

On a scale of 1 to 10 I would give it a 7. I will give it more points when the next film comes out. Until then I am holding them hostage.

Darwin award nominee 2001

I nominate Osama bin Hide'n...er...Laden

I would wager he will be dead before the year is out. He desreves the Hitler trophy for suicide since he will go down in the history of the new 21st century as committing suicide by pointing a super power at his head and pulling the trigger. His death will also be one of the most expensive suicides in history. Though on a per/capita basis Hitler still reigns supreme as the committer of the most expensive suicide.

Making more fun of Osama:
Osama is a master of disguises as well as a master of...well... I guess being a cave man.

Currently he is in the guise of Osama bin Hide'n, though he has been spotted as Osama bin Run'n, General Frank suspects he will soon take on the persona of Osama bin Bleed'n followed by Osama bin Die'n. Later on he may apear as Osma bin Rotten and finally, in the future. he will be known as Osama bin Forgotten.

A Knight's Tale

Comparing this to it's romanesque counterpart "Gladiator" I would have to say that this films was much.....

Well it wasn't as artsy-fartsy. It wasn't a drama. It wasn't particularly well acted. It had an appallingly simple story.

In short it kicked Gladiator's sinewy buttocks. Gladiator is a ponderous, meledramatic, old movie copying, cliche' battle scene, gumbo of doom. A Knight's Tale is a funny, exicting, fastpaced, doesn't take itself seriously at all, chutney of sublimity. I thought the use of Queen in the opening joust scene was superb. I thought "this is actually going to make me laugh."

A Knight's Tale is right up there with the original Robin Hood, Robin And Marion, Henry V (both versions), and Beckett as grand medieval films.

Another film that could be showhorned into this lot is the Thirteenth Warrior. This film was another pleasant surprise.

The Amazing Mezmo

From T.A. Mezmo
TO: Friends
RE: New Vice President
Mezmo speaks the future:

Dick Chenny will resign in less than six months.
John Ashcroft, former senator who lost to a dead guy, and current Attorney General, will be chosen to succeed him.

Moral? If you are so unpopular that you can loose an election to a dead man you too can be Vice President.

Potential? If Bush needs to be replaced, say because the helium ballon that is his head comes undone from his body and floats away, then the looser to a dead guy will be President.

I love dis' Country!

Dufus is...well a dufus...but there is hope

George "let me be the Hurbert Hoover of my generation" Bush has just handed his buddys more doe to waste. At least we married couples get a break too...right???? A reduction in the so called marriage penalty won't take effect until 2011. In fact most of the tax cut that would benefit the most tax payers won't happen until the BIG DUFUS isn't even in office; as if that guy would get elected again. Oh sure we all will get a little check, big deal. The only thing keeping me from vomiting every time I see the, illiterate, verbally disfunctional, simple minded cobb-salad head, is that his energy policy will cause the good ol' US to throw him and his fellow cobb-salad heads out on their ears. Please note that all the people with any amount of brain power in DC are stepping, quickly, away from this dude. McCain, for instance, sees the 16 ton weight hurtling toward Bush's head. Jeffords is already gone. Only the blind Trent Lott and his ilk, like automatons, are robotically receiting the useless mantra of their dead religion. On the foreign policy front the Dufus is on his way to another Palestinian train wreak. With no agreement in hand, and a cease fire that isn't really happening, his team is going to try and stop the violence in the mideast. Sure they are. I really hope this dude doesn't get us in a war. It may just be paranoia but look what the dufus has been able to accomplish in such a short time. Nuclear destablization due to his uncoherrent and disjointed attempt at a missle defense sheild. Ignoring Russian economic problems (5,000 nukes and thousands of tons of bio and chem war agents up for grabs). Alienation of US military by keeping them out of the decision making process. Alienation of NATO by claiming, ignorantly, that US is sholdering the brunt of Balkan burden and will pull out. Alienation of UN by his party's unwillingess to pay our dues, causing the US to be ousted from the Human Rights Commission. All I can say is that if a Democrat was responsible for all the bull shit that the Dufus has done there would be more impeachment hearings.

On a good note the state of Washington's supreme court decided that it can still have an open primary. This is good since it might prove to be a precident for other states to become open. The importance of this should not be underestimated. If all states had had open primaries in the last general election we might be talking about what President McCain is doing instead of Dufus. Aside from financial reform the biggest hinderance to thrid parties and or outsiders is the closed primary where, as a voter, you are mandated to vote for only members of your own party. With an open Primary you can vote for who you want. Closed primaries benefit big party politics. With soft money reform a small victory can be acheived but we really need electoral reform to bring about a fairer system that is more truely representative of the will ofthe people.

As far as JM is concerned the last six months should leave little doubt as to who is the more politically astute. Acting as if he had won the presidency with a mandate for reform JM quickly assembled a winning coalition to move finance reform through congress. Relegating the Bush supporting conservatives to the sidelines, JM has pointed the spotlight squarly on himself and his agenda and now Dufus will have to pony up. Who is courting the Democratic Leadership? Who is the one man Bush seems to have to have in order to advance any of his agenda? God I wish the US would have got this guy as the President. If Bush is a Hoover wating to happen the J McCain is a Roosevelt. Remember that ol' FDR, that consumate political gamester, the guy that owned the smoke filled room, was a republican right up untill the time he ran for President.
PS: Angienva@aol.com thank you for all the info and keeping us McCain supporters together. I have forwarded all your mail to Donna, my wife.

Earth future

Using the concept that the entire universe (meaning all that is) is basically a giant fractal equation I predict the following for the future of the Earth.

What is the Earth? This is a question that many people just don't ask. They, in my opinion, wrongfully call the Earth a rock, a planet, or simply a body floating in space. I think this is a wrong description. That description, if accepted as a true and complete answer to the question, sets us on a very wrong course for defining our roll in the cosmos. Remember the universe is a fractal, at least in my own mind. That is if you look at all its parts it basically resembles all its other parts. You cannot really get to the "fundemental foundation" of the cosmos since it doesn't exists only an ever deepening fractal rabit hole.

What is the Earth? The Earth is a life form, not a planet. It has come into existance through cosmological procreation and has gestated for 4.5 billion years. It started as a signle cell life form. It went through a state of non-self awareness where all the cells developed, multiplied,
developed specilaization. It is a not a prepetual motion machine but it is very good at existance. Certain cells provide oxygen so that the other cells can exist and do their work. Other cells provide a caloric source for self absorbtion. Imagine that you only ever needed to eat once. Then you live only off your fat cells. Same concept. Earth was born with all the nutrients it needed to keep going for a very long life span. As with any life form the central nervous system and becoming self aware is the last stage prior to birth. Quite recently the Earth has become aware of it's own existance and is now pondering what it is for. At the moment it is wrong in its assumption but that is only a momentary lapse in judgement. Its nervous system is still trying to define it's existance relative to the body inwhich it lives.

As a fetus the Earth is aware of itself, but unware of the outside world. It has no idea of the future that awaits it. I predict that the Earth will be born into a larger cosmos and will have to mate with another life form such as itself in order to breed. The qeustion is where Earth lies in the larger lifefrom? Is it, like a bryne shrimp destined to be a fat cell in the cosmos? Only to be utilized as food. Or is Earth, once self aware, part of a larger cosmological nervous system? How this breeding occurs is open to conjecture. It cannot be denied that it is self aware. This being agreed to the fractal equivalent is a higher life form on Earth. Plants are life forms but they are not selfaware so we cannot use that part of the fractal equation as a guide to what the earth is. But the Earth could be the fractal equivalent of any animal with a central nervsous system. Is it a Brine Shrimp or a Human? Is it going to be used, like fat cell, or is it going to be used to define the cosmo's existance in a greater, and as yet unkown, creation.

Just some thought by a weirdo

SW II

From Yoda:
Bust a gut, I do, laughing at your mirth
As old as time I may already be. But Christopher Lee too is as old.
Check out the paste-job of his head on young punks body as he does his Jedi break-dance.

From Jar Jar:
Mee-sa been promoted to Grand Moff Yes-man of the soon-to-be emperor.
Lucas says hee'sa gonna clone me into the imperial crowd in Return of the Jedi.

From Anakin "Cry"walker:
Didn't you get it?!? Nobody understands my character!?! I am the chosen one! No I'm not I am full of pain because my little braided hair thingy is too tight. My eyebrow ridge is huge too. Is that a pimple on my nose?! Ah Fuck! Where's Amidala I gotta bone her. Oh no!
Now I have an erection at an inoportune time!?!? Ahhhhhhhhh I'm so confused! And to top it off I got my right arm cut off. Now How am I gonna....never mind.

From Obi Wan:
Shut up young one. You make me want to hurl. I, on th other hand, look like way more like a stud muffin in SW2. Though I think I need a tie- dye head band. Peace man!

From Palpatine:
I am evil be my boy toy! You know the only reason I am evil is that I havn't got any since...

Shmee:
At least my death seen lasted longer that Yoda's

Yoda Again:
A dumb desert scank, you are. My death scene? Significant it was.

Shmee:
At least I was a real person you silly wrinkled Kermit frog.

Amidala:
I'm not really into the whole "Star Wars" thing. I just do it for the money. Kinda like Alec Guiness.

Alec Guiness:
Don't compare yourself to me you American slack-ass.

R2D2:
Beep Pong Twitter

Translation: I'm a fk'n millionair and I have never had to speak a single line. I rule!

C3P0:
I seem to live a very circular life. Tatooine, space battles, back to Tatooine, space battles...Do you notice that when R2 gets shot he never just explodes, doesn't even loose a leg. Me? I loose feet, arms, my head...all the friggin time!

Boba Fett:
I am a puddgy faced kid!!!!!! Too much 4% milk.

Lord Dooku:
I kicked ass in Lord of the Rings and again in SW2. Pretty good for a guy who's older than most of the cast combined.

Smoke Hole

Say I found a real cool thing out about my property! I was covering up a pile of compost and turned around to see a smoking hole in the ground. I thought "hmmm? Firey opening to Satans bedchamber? Or severed burning power line?" I bent over to look at the little volcano to find a cable as fat as my thumb molten in color and smoking as the rain hit it. It was expertly placed so that a barefoot human could step on it.

I called PGE. They came out, four guys in red coveralls and gloves and hats, two trucks. The foreman scratched his head. "Yeah thats a big fat killer that is. Look at this thing Frank (name changed). " Frank, "Damn. So wheres it connected to?" Frank asked me. I told him it was connected, so I guessed, tothe barn braker box. They went over to shut it off.

"I already shut that off." I said.
Frank walked over anyway, checked the box, "Say this is already off."
"Yeah I shut it off when I noticed the smoking hole." I said.
"Did you turn this off?" Asked Frank.
"Yes." I said through cleanched teeth.
"Well Thats a good thing. But why is that line still hot?" Frank said.
"I''d say it's probably bypassed. Thats not good. You'll have to take the box apart and removed the wire that way." The foreman said.
"Me?" I asked.
"We only cover the line to the box. This hear line is your own private line." Foreman said with whimsy."

So I get to have a burning hole that can kill you in my yard until I get a private contractor out here? That doesn't sound good to me." i say. Foreman twiddles his waxed mustache and scratches his head, crotch scratching would be pointless in the heavy coveralls. He walked over to the breaker box and flipped another switch, one that was too hot for me to want to touch. The line went dead. PGE squad then left me standing in the gloomy twilight as the rain came down andthe cable steamed to a cold state.

Back in the kitchen, after a dinner of cold pizza and beer (actually it was pepsi but I wish I had a beer at the time) I dug through my evergrowing pile of home owner bull shit paper and found my home warrenty. "Electrical?" I thought. Did it say anything aobut it? Yep! I called the number and was informed that the call would be monitored for quality assurence. What the fuck does that mean. If I don't like the call will some champion of customer service jump onthe line and send the offending rep to the indernal regions? Who could say.

Early in the day, on NPR, I listend to a story about call-centers being relocated to Bangalore India. The empolyees study American accents so they can speak without sounding like their from the sub-continent. I only bring this up since the lady I talked to was difinitely from that region.

I gave her my policy nuimber and then described the problem. " Found this severed power cable in my yard....smoking .....and PGE say it could deliver a leathal dose of electrcity. yada yada yada..."
"Is the electrical line on the inside of your home?" She asked with only a hint of an accent.
I sigh, "No its in the yard."
"It is not inside the home?" She asked.
"My yard is not inside the home no." I said with slight sarcasm, but more with sense of gloom that I belong to such a race of troglidites. How in the hell did we ever get to the moon? Or figure out how to procreate? or breathe?
"Well if the line is not in the home then it is not covered by your policy." She said.
"Okay." I said with extreme minimalism.
"Thank you call again." Said Ms. Napahasapanalan. (not her real name or what she realy said.)

So now I have to pay some jerk to come and disconnect this stinking cable. Some butt-crak showing swine with a pension plan that will allow him to retire to his vacation home on Bermuda. Some fat slob who's gonna get 35$ bucks of my money just for opening his truck door and stepping onto my land. It sucks. The last electrician te be on my land, a slob I didn't haveto pay, was named Tiny. He drove a brand new Lincoln Navigator, had a huge gold wrist band and wore dark glasses like Sam Giancona. He could have been an extra in any one of a number of Gangster flicks.

I think, "Should I call Tiny?" I can envision the conversation this way:
Tiny, "So...tough guy...wah-chu need."
Me relating the cable story yet again.
Tiny, "That cable? Forget-about-it. It's like, you know, it never happened. No trace, no cable, no nothen."
Me. "What will it cost?"
Tiny, "For you? I'l make you an offer you can't refuse............"