SW II

From Yoda:
Bust a gut, I do, laughing at your mirth
As old as time I may already be. But Christopher Lee too is as old.
Check out the paste-job of his head on young punks body as he does his Jedi break-dance.

From Jar Jar:
Mee-sa been promoted to Grand Moff Yes-man of the soon-to-be emperor.
Lucas says hee'sa gonna clone me into the imperial crowd in Return of the Jedi.

From Anakin "Cry"walker:
Didn't you get it?!? Nobody understands my character!?! I am the chosen one! No I'm not I am full of pain because my little braided hair thingy is too tight. My eyebrow ridge is huge too. Is that a pimple on my nose?! Ah Fuck! Where's Amidala I gotta bone her. Oh no!
Now I have an erection at an inoportune time!?!? Ahhhhhhhhh I'm so confused! And to top it off I got my right arm cut off. Now How am I gonna....never mind.

From Obi Wan:
Shut up young one. You make me want to hurl. I, on th other hand, look like way more like a stud muffin in SW2. Though I think I need a tie- dye head band. Peace man!

From Palpatine:
I am evil be my boy toy! You know the only reason I am evil is that I havn't got any since...

Shmee:
At least my death seen lasted longer that Yoda's

Yoda Again:
A dumb desert scank, you are. My death scene? Significant it was.

Shmee:
At least I was a real person you silly wrinkled Kermit frog.

Amidala:
I'm not really into the whole "Star Wars" thing. I just do it for the money. Kinda like Alec Guiness.

Alec Guiness:
Don't compare yourself to me you American slack-ass.

R2D2:
Beep Pong Twitter

Translation: I'm a fk'n millionair and I have never had to speak a single line. I rule!

C3P0:
I seem to live a very circular life. Tatooine, space battles, back to Tatooine, space battles...Do you notice that when R2 gets shot he never just explodes, doesn't even loose a leg. Me? I loose feet, arms, my head...all the friggin time!

Boba Fett:
I am a puddgy faced kid!!!!!! Too much 4% milk.

Lord Dooku:
I kicked ass in Lord of the Rings and again in SW2. Pretty good for a guy who's older than most of the cast combined.