Tuesday, May 22, 2001

Earth future

Using the concept that the entire universe (meaning all that is) is basically a giant fractal equation I predict the following for the future of the Earth.

What is the Earth? This is a question that many people just don't ask. They, in my opinion, wrongfully call the Earth a rock, a planet, or simply a body floating in space. I think this is a wrong description. That description, if accepted as a true and complete answer to the question, sets us on a very wrong course for defining our roll in the cosmos. Remember the universe is a fractal, at least in my own mind. That is if you look at all its parts it basically resembles all its other parts. You cannot really get to the "fundemental foundation" of the cosmos since it doesn't exists only an ever deepening fractal rabit hole.

What is the Earth? The Earth is a life form, not a planet. It has come into existance through cosmological procreation and has gestated for 4.5 billion years. It started as a signle cell life form. It went through a state of non-self awareness where all the cells developed, multiplied,
developed specilaization. It is a not a prepetual motion machine but it is very good at existance. Certain cells provide oxygen so that the other cells can exist and do their work. Other cells provide a caloric source for self absorbtion. Imagine that you only ever needed to eat once. Then you live only off your fat cells. Same concept. Earth was born with all the nutrients it needed to keep going for a very long life span. As with any life form the central nervous system and becoming self aware is the last stage prior to birth. Quite recently the Earth has become aware of it's own existance and is now pondering what it is for. At the moment it is wrong in its assumption but that is only a momentary lapse in judgement. Its nervous system is still trying to define it's existance relative to the body inwhich it lives.

As a fetus the Earth is aware of itself, but unware of the outside world. It has no idea of the future that awaits it. I predict that the Earth will be born into a larger cosmos and will have to mate with another life form such as itself in order to breed. The qeustion is where Earth lies in the larger lifefrom? Is it, like a bryne shrimp destined to be a fat cell in the cosmos? Only to be utilized as food. Or is Earth, once self aware, part of a larger cosmological nervous system? How this breeding occurs is open to conjecture. It cannot be denied that it is self aware. This being agreed to the fractal equivalent is a higher life form on Earth. Plants are life forms but they are not selfaware so we cannot use that part of the fractal equation as a guide to what the earth is. But the Earth could be the fractal equivalent of any animal with a central nervsous system. Is it a Brine Shrimp or a Human? Is it going to be used, like fat cell, or is it going to be used to define the cosmo's existance in a greater, and as yet unkown, creation.

Just some thought by a weirdo

Saturday, May 19, 2001


From Yoda:
Bust a gut, I do, laughing at your mirth
As old as time I may already be. But Christopher Lee too is as old.
Check out the paste-job of his head on young punks body as he does his Jedi break-dance.

From Jar Jar:
Mee-sa been promoted to Grand Moff Yes-man of the soon-to-be emperor.
Lucas says hee'sa gonna clone me into the imperial crowd in Return of the Jedi.

From Anakin "Cry"walker:
Didn't you get it?!? Nobody understands my character!?! I am the chosen one! No I'm not I am full of pain because my little braided hair thingy is too tight. My eyebrow ridge is huge too. Is that a pimple on my nose?! Ah Fuck! Where's Amidala I gotta bone her. Oh no!
Now I have an erection at an inoportune time!?!? Ahhhhhhhhh I'm so confused! And to top it off I got my right arm cut off. Now How am I gonna....never mind.

From Obi Wan:
Shut up young one. You make me want to hurl. I, on th other hand, look like way more like a stud muffin in SW2. Though I think I need a tie- dye head band. Peace man!

From Palpatine:
I am evil be my boy toy! You know the only reason I am evil is that I havn't got any since...

At least my death seen lasted longer that Yoda's

Yoda Again:
A dumb desert scank, you are. My death scene? Significant it was.

At least I was a real person you silly wrinkled Kermit frog.

I'm not really into the whole "Star Wars" thing. I just do it for the money. Kinda like Alec Guiness.

Alec Guiness:
Don't compare yourself to me you American slack-ass.

Beep Pong Twitter

Translation: I'm a fk'n millionair and I have never had to speak a single line. I rule!

I seem to live a very circular life. Tatooine, space battles, back to Tatooine, space battles...Do you notice that when R2 gets shot he never just explodes, doesn't even loose a leg. Me? I loose feet, arms, my head...all the friggin time!

Boba Fett:
I am a puddgy faced kid!!!!!! Too much 4% milk.

Lord Dooku:
I kicked ass in Lord of the Rings and again in SW2. Pretty good for a guy who's older than most of the cast combined.

Tuesday, May 15, 2001

Smoke Hole

Say I found a real cool thing out about my property! I was covering up a pile of compost and turned around to see a smoking hole in the ground. I thought "hmmm? Firey opening to Satans bedchamber? Or severed burning power line?" I bent over to look at the little volcano to find a cable as fat as my thumb molten in color and smoking as the rain hit it. It was expertly placed so that a barefoot human could step on it.

I called PGE. They came out, four guys in red coveralls and gloves and hats, two trucks. The foreman scratched his head. "Yeah thats a big fat killer that is. Look at this thing Frank (name changed). " Frank, "Damn. So wheres it connected to?" Frank asked me. I told him it was connected, so I guessed, tothe barn braker box. They went over to shut it off.

"I already shut that off." I said.
Frank walked over anyway, checked the box, "Say this is already off."
"Yeah I shut it off when I noticed the smoking hole." I said.
"Did you turn this off?" Asked Frank.
"Yes." I said through cleanched teeth.
"Well Thats a good thing. But why is that line still hot?" Frank said.
"I''d say it's probably bypassed. Thats not good. You'll have to take the box apart and removed the wire that way." The foreman said.
"Me?" I asked.
"We only cover the line to the box. This hear line is your own private line." Foreman said with whimsy."

So I get to have a burning hole that can kill you in my yard until I get a private contractor out here? That doesn't sound good to me." i say. Foreman twiddles his waxed mustache and scratches his head, crotch scratching would be pointless in the heavy coveralls. He walked over to the breaker box and flipped another switch, one that was too hot for me to want to touch. The line went dead. PGE squad then left me standing in the gloomy twilight as the rain came down andthe cable steamed to a cold state.

Back in the kitchen, after a dinner of cold pizza and beer (actually it was pepsi but I wish I had a beer at the time) I dug through my evergrowing pile of home owner bull shit paper and found my home warrenty. "Electrical?" I thought. Did it say anything aobut it? Yep! I called the number and was informed that the call would be monitored for quality assurence. What the fuck does that mean. If I don't like the call will some champion of customer service jump onthe line and send the offending rep to the indernal regions? Who could say.

Early in the day, on NPR, I listend to a story about call-centers being relocated to Bangalore India. The empolyees study American accents so they can speak without sounding like their from the sub-continent. I only bring this up since the lady I talked to was difinitely from that region.

I gave her my policy nuimber and then described the problem. " Found this severed power cable in my yard....smoking .....and PGE say it could deliver a leathal dose of electrcity. yada yada yada..."
"Is the electrical line on the inside of your home?" She asked with only a hint of an accent.
I sigh, "No its in the yard."
"It is not inside the home?" She asked.
"My yard is not inside the home no." I said with slight sarcasm, but more with sense of gloom that I belong to such a race of troglidites. How in the hell did we ever get to the moon? Or figure out how to procreate? or breathe?
"Well if the line is not in the home then it is not covered by your policy." She said.
"Okay." I said with extreme minimalism.
"Thank you call again." Said Ms. Napahasapanalan. (not her real name or what she realy said.)

So now I have to pay some jerk to come and disconnect this stinking cable. Some butt-crak showing swine with a pension plan that will allow him to retire to his vacation home on Bermuda. Some fat slob who's gonna get 35$ bucks of my money just for opening his truck door and stepping onto my land. It sucks. The last electrician te be on my land, a slob I didn't haveto pay, was named Tiny. He drove a brand new Lincoln Navigator, had a huge gold wrist band and wore dark glasses like Sam Giancona. He could have been an extra in any one of a number of Gangster flicks.

I think, "Should I call Tiny?" I can envision the conversation this way:
Tiny, "So...tough guy...wah-chu need."
Me relating the cable story yet again.
Tiny, "That cable? Forget-about-it. It's like, you know, it never happened. No trace, no cable, no nothen."
Me. "What will it cost?"
Tiny, "For you? I'l make you an offer you can't refuse............"

Monday, May 14, 2001

Supreme court is full of poop.

Clarence "uncle" Thomas wrote for the majority that pot used for medicinal purposes can't happen. What a bunch of poop-heads. My doctor can perscribe me a bottle of demeral that could kill an elephant but he cant perscribe canabis that hasn't killed anybody. Canabis, unlike codine, valum etc, will cut the pain wiithout putting you to sleep. You may want to eat fifty tacos, but that ain't a bad thing if your under-wieght do to your illness. I guess its more important to those moralistic nazi fuckheads to let people live in pain and suffering so that they can fight their bogus war on drugs. To quote W.S. Burroughs "thanks for a nation of finks where know one's alowed to mind his own business."

While those ivory towered dickwads drink their cognac (a bottle of which is enough to kill some people) they can rest assured that people will live out their lives either doped into delirium or in agony. Thanks morons.

Thursday, May 03, 2001

Lowest Common Denominator Continues To Plummet

Perchance did you see the Frontline program on Tuesday? It documented pretty much what the Onion was talking about. They had examples of the current level of sludge being pumped into the empty heads of our youth. I don't know what was more nausiating, the clips of such events as "Poop Diving", a show where a guy dons a snorkle and mask and jumps into a sewage treatment pond, or the neck-tied scum bags who will litterally put anyting on tv for a buck, trying to justify their existance.

Wednesday, May 02, 2001

I want to poke another hole inthe flimsy Dufus machine

Dufus wants a missle defense system. The question that nobody in the media or alive on earth seems to want to ask is why? Why have it? If the answer is to protect against small nuke states like Iraq then the system is not needed since no nation, no matter how idiological or extreme, is goingto accept itself being completely wiped from existance. A missle would be the stupidest way to deliver a nuke to the US. A missle is traceable. We would know exactly where it came from and take the appropriate, if terrible, action of destroying the offending nation. In otherwords Iraq would have to be led by complete idiots and as much as we would like to think we live in a cardboard world we do not. It would be national suicide to launch a missle at the US. No nation is going to do that. So what is the other answer to that question? To prevent a full scale strike by a large nuke power? Well lets say that the, for lack of a better term, Nuclear Bush, that we deploy is 99% effective at catching all incoming missles. That's a pretty effective system. I can't imagine a globally based system of anything being 99% effective but lets pretend. For some reason, that I can't imagine, Russia fires a full scale strike on the US and Europe. Thats about 2000 missles. The Nuclear Bush catches 1980 missles! Holy cow that is effective! Bush is vindicated! The system works flawlessly! Only 1% of the nukes make it through! This means total destruction and pretty much the end of the world, as far as humans are concerned. That 1% can pack up to 200 H-bombs. Remeber the multi-cluster warhead? Thats 10 H-bombs per missles. The US will take 175 and Europe 25 direct hits from 100 megaton H-bombs. Does any rational person think that we, as a nation, could survive being hit with that much firepower? That 1 % Is more than enough to totally wipe out every major American and European city. And lets not forget the 7000 nukes that we fire at the ol Russians and the other dudes we don't like. Closing time for the human race. A missle defense is not needed to contain the threat form little powers and is useless against super powers. I don't think the Dufus is that dumb. I think he's doing this to provide much needed boondoggle projects for General Dynamics, Lockheed/Martin, and the other players in the offense industry. One thing the missle Bush will do effectively is make Russia and any other power with semi large arsenal think about making it larger. The best counter to a expensive US missle Bush is a lot of cheap missles with as many warheads on them as possible. I really can't stand this jerk of a President. Oh to have the leacherous scumbag back in the white House or hell bring back Nixon! I can't see how destablizing asia with his nonsensical China policy and putting in jepoardy 30 years of nuclear treaties is helping make the world safe for anything. Besides the easiest way to do nuclear damage to the US is to ship a bomb in on a boat and blow it up in a harbor. Or ship in the parts and assmble it in an Apartment building. Missles are expensive, for poor terrorists, and big and hard to hide. They are traceable. Stick fon on a boat or in a van, it's way cheaprer. Once it goes off it automatically erases all traces of where it came form. Who would do we retalliate against? "Oh come on own up! Who did that?" Defending against that is something we need to be working on. Not some floating fart gas missle-bush.

We are idiots

Human beings are pretty much organic tape machines. We hear something and then play it back over and over again. Unlike a tape or CD we tend to garble the play back so, after main iterations the message is almost unitelligable. Such as this:

Original message: John's Dog has flees

Repitition: This guy I knows dog has flees

Repitiion2: That guys freinds dog has flees on its nose.

Repitition3: You know that reminds me, Johns got some flee bights on his nose too.

Repitition4: Flees tend to hang out on the noses of dogs and people. They like it (poor content being embelished with made up information)

Repitition 999: Today Congress has enacted landmark legislation banning certain types of chemicals thought to bring flee born viruses to the nasal cavity.

I listen to people talking to each other at work and I can tell if they are getting their info form a tv show. Most people try to pass off this info as some deep college induced knowledge that they had to struggled to attain. They spout off about all sort of shit. Experts on the Cuban missle crisis and Jazz abound. Funning thing is that the experts usually change their area of expertise just about a week after the latest round of PBS or Hitler Channel documentaries. If I bring up some other topic that hasn't been on tv inthe past week people get that 1000 yard stare and search their tv memory banks for info they don't have. If your going to talk about something you've seen on tv then just say so. Instead of trying to co-opt Ken Burns.